Sometimes I wish I could just jump out from my journal, grab someone, and take them back in with me. So I wouldn't feel so alone writing. That way I could grab someone like me and just say hey... I feel you.
I'm exhausted today. I fell asleep at the wheel again this morning, I had to be here early at 7:45am and that really hurt me mentally. I never knew I was this much of a non-morning person. I used to be okay in the mornings but whew, not anymore.
My American Idol Jessica gave me this book to read called "why girls are weird" and so far it's amazing. All I keep thinking about is getting back to read it. It reminds me of me. I wish I could write my book already. I want to be an author and take all my journals dating back to 9th grade and just rewrite them all into some interesting tell all story of my life. Problem is, I don't have an audience. My old friends from my old school wrote a book recently and I'm completely jealous. I wish I had that kind of stamina. I wish I could finish what I start.
- Location:Work, MI
- Mood:
exhausted - Music:There's hope for the hopeless
And I don't want to go. I always have fun with them but I really don't want to go. Jessica, my american idol, felt sorry for me that I wasn't doing anything really for my birthday today and she said I could come over for movies. I really would much rather do that but now I'd feel bad because Matt's friends were going to make me and Dan a cake.
I hate feeling guilty, can't I just do what I want? I dug my own grave though, because I whined to Matt about not doing anything on my birthday and he got this together for me to be nice to me because I've been so down lately and he's worried about me. I'm worried about me, too.
- Mood: melancholy
- Music:My perogative - Britney
That, or a "thank you for being born" day, where you thank everyone you meet for being born and gracing the world with their presence, whether it was wanted or not.
Sometimes, I'm just that transparent. What's even more transparent, is the fact that I'm constantly thinking about it. Sometimes I look as bad as I feel because It's just written all over my face and body language. I couldn't hide this feeling if I tried. Also, now that I am sick with a cold I feel like that's just me giving myself another excuse to be miserable. Sometimes I can't decide if I need an excuse or not.
- Mood: cold
- Music:NIN-Only
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:American Girl-Tom Petty
What would you change about your country if you could be in charge for a day? Submitted By |
If you could be God for a day, what three things would be at the top of your to-do list? Submitted By |
If you had to immigrate from your current home, where in the world would you choose to go? Submitted By |
Besides, Ireland is beautiful and the parks are amazing and I'm quite fond of the weather there, and the social environment. As long as I'm not getting mugged.
- Music:Combinations-Eisley
Anyway, I would like my grave to say:
"The wind passes gently over this sweet and hallow spot." I just think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
If you could be any creature, any mobile life form at all, which would it be and why? Submitted By |
- Mood:
Serene - Music:Starting Now-Ingrid Michaelson
Submitted By |
He was at work, so I waited a few hours before he called me back while I was playing chess with my brother. He thought that was funny. We're both nerds in our own way, him in his irish way. His accent was wonderful over the phone, I had him on speaker a couple times so my brother and sister could know I wasn't exaggerating.
And he agreed to see me Sunday. Sunday. Now I'm nervous for a whole new reason. I'm breaking up with my current beau tonight, which makes me scared as hell. He'll flip out on me and give me a hard time and 20 questions and I'll have to lie because I don't want to hurt him. I've already been hurting him just by dating him out of convenience because I work with him and I didn't want things to be awkward.
And now what do I do when I meet up with Locke? I won't really know what to do with myself because I don't want to seem too giddy and he has girls drooling over him all the time as it is, but I don't want to be my usual depressed self either. I just wish I knew what to do. It's been so long since I've been on the dating scene. I mean actually, I never really was. I don't know the do's and don't's and how to play hard to get or when that's even necessary. Depression always kept me inside. I just want this to work more than I've wanted almost anything to work.
- Mood: worried
We thought we 'knew' a lot of things. Imagine what we'll 'know' tomorrow.
You are allowed to place three items from your lifetime into a box that will be opened in fifty years. What do you put in, and why? Submitted By |
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